AVOIDANCE IS EXPENSIVE. Why getting real and confronting what is sets you free.
By: Abby McDonald
There are moments in life where it becomes so intense, when we just want to hide under a duvet, where you just can’t be bothered and you just don’t wanna deal.
Can you relate?
I’m sure many of you can as we’ve all have had our fair share of challenges in life where we were faced with the decision to fight or flee.
I can recall an incident a few years back in my life, where one of my staff at the time spoke up and told me that the niche market that my business specialized in, was about to take a hit, that we should take note and shift gears fast.
I didn’t want to see it because I had witnessed and overcome so many cycles in fact, over 10 years of it so I chose to remain “overly” optimistic instead of taking heed of the signs that were evident that a storm was approaching – I avoided it.
Well you can take a wild guess, the storm did happen and let’s just say that it wasn’t fun and that it cost me – big time.
Yes, my castle started sinking with me in it. The tide had turned and I resisted it, instead of flowing with it.
In fact, it got so close to me folding the business while it left me feeling bewildered, sad and even depressed.
While hindsight is always 20/20 and there are no mistakes only lessons in life, I still believe that it is healthy and wise to confront where you’ve screwed up, not in a judgmental kinda’ way, but in a cathartic, loving way.
To ignore your weaknesses is to celebrate delusion and nothing pure and true can truly flourish when we don’t accept ALL of who we are.
Yes, to be present and aware is also to accept change willingly with an open heart and follow accordingly knowing that it could very well be the best thing for you.
You see, avoidance is expensive.
It’s fear based. It weighs you down, it delays, it plants seeds for repetitive behaviours, patterns and unfulfilling situations. It makes the decision to suffer more later.
Confronting what ails you however, is love based and courageous while it makes a declaration that says “I love myself enough to deal with what’s in front of me as I am responsible for my own life and thus I am perfectly capable of handling anything that comes my way.”
And so my dear friends, I say Be Free Now.
Get real and honest with yourself and be present and true to where you are in the now.
Because by doing so, you free yourself from the old story that is getting in the way of the Universe writing a new one for you.
Admitting your mistakes is tough, but not learning from them is fatal at the cost of true joy, fulfillment, peace of mind and happiness.
And so I know you may be shaking in your boots to confront the things that are hurting you but I’d like to encourage you to feel the burn and do it anyways.
Here’s 3 TIPS on How to confront what’s hurting you with courage and grace:
1) Admit what sucks.
Ok, so it sucks, we know this now, let’s be true to ourselves and admit it – progress. I’m not a proponent of complaining or whining but in order to change the course of your life, you’ve got to have the courage to admit what’s not working. Covering things up by hiding behind a mask and reciting positive, fluffy affirmations just isn’t gonna cut it. Facing your truth is what empowered living is all about and then having the courage to take steps to change what you don’t like.
2) Write down a list of what’s not working.
Writing down your thoughts and feelings about what’s not working is so powerful, as it helps you get over the fear by facing it. Let it leap out on the pages before you. There is nothing virtuous or heroic in settling for less than you deserve and playing small. You have greatness inside of you, let it out. Get really specific, it could be your career, relationships, finances, health, ALL of the above, whatever. Face it, it hurts oh so good, you’ll feel lighter when you do.
3) Forgive yourself.
Now forgive yourself and just let it go. Cry it out if need be, then take your list and burn baby burn. Allow all of the emotions to flow through you, and then choose again by setting an intention on how you would like to see your life unfold, focus on it intensely, work hard at it and then surrender it all.
I believe that there’s something really beautiful, pure and cathartic when we shine a light on the things that are getting in the way of our evolution.
And those who have the courage to reflect and face what ails them, set themselves on the path to liberation.
Now your turn: What are you currently having difficulty with confronting in your life? Do share what you’re going through with the rest of the community on the blog so that we can empower you to turn the page on your life.
OR, need advice?
Please feel free to email me with your heartfelt thoughts and comments and I’ll be sure to Reply.
All for love,
Life & Career Coach, Inspirational Speaker & Writer
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