Is your Inner Critic Stealing your Peace?

As I write this I am reflecting on the past year and am amazed at how much has happened, how much has changed and the endless possibilities for the future, but for right now in this moment I am savouring the joy and gratitude I feel.

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Recently I was part of a World Peace Summit with some other incredible women. Some were seasoned speakers, some had only spoken on stage a few times before and one brave woman was speaking for the first time, sharing her stories many women would feel ashamed of, but she wasn’t defining herself by her past. She was determined to speak up and be the voice for many who hadn’t found theirs yet.

We spoke about human dignity. There were many great ideas on what that means but overall the message was ‘if we don’t value ourselves with dignity we can’t treat others with that same respect.’

How can we create a peaceful world if we are not peaceful inside?

I believe we are all equal, we have all been ‘there’ at one time or another. Speaking for the first time, sharing stories from the past, coming out of our shell where we stayed safe and small due to fear of judgements and the uncertainty that we even have something valuable to share.

We are all here to lift each other up and support our fellow community to rise above the noise, stand up for something we believe in and shine our light so others can find us!

I truly believe this is a big part of our mission for being here … along with fully experiencing the ups and downs of life so we can learn and grow.

I still get a little nervous before I take the stage but it goes away once I’m there and something drives me to express myself and share my stories because it always helps someone else know they are not alone in how they feel or the experiences they find themselves in.

There was a time not so long ago I was terrified to stand on stage feeling ashamed to tell others how I treated myself with a lot of “dis-respect”.

The subject I shared was my negative self-talk. This is a topic I think everyone can relate to. Some of us let our inner critic tell us what to think and do and it can be very disempowering. I did this for many years and once I became aware of it and saw the damage it was doing I was able to do something about it.

So if you think you might have a similar inner dialogue in common with this I invite you to answer these questions honestly without judging yourself:

  • What runs through your head, is it constant thought?

  • What are you saying to yourself when something goes wrong, when you feel overwhelmed or it’s just one of those challenging days?

  • Do you automatically take the blame for things that go wrong? Maybe not outwardly but you think about how you weren’t enough in some way.

  • Maybe you have someone(s) in your life who blames you when something goes wrong?

  • Do you have a hard time accepting compliments and deflect them or maybe not even acknowledge them and change the subject to something different?

I was my own worst enemy and I can now spot it pretty easily since I became aware and know how it works.
Negative self-talk is a habit and like any other habit it can be hard to break when you automatically do it. I had no idea how often I was berating myself until I paid attention to my inner critic and even when I tried to override it I wouldn’t believe it on the inside.

When we get in the habit of this there are some things we can do to counteract it and change our self-talk so we can feel peaceful and happy.

# 1 Pay attention to what you are saying to yourself – awareness is the first step towards change.

# 2 When you notice your negative self-talk reverse it – ‘I’m an idiot, I forgot again!’ Can be reversed into ‘Oh I forgot again, well that’s ok I’ll make sure to write it down for next time.’

# 3 Practice positive self-talk – As soon as you wake up and open your eyes say something that will uplift you such as, “Today is going to be a great day! I’m excited to see what will unfold.” (This might feel cheesy or false if you’re not feeling it but remember, your brain doesn’t know if you are telling it a lie or a truth so praising ourselves every day for what we did do well or maybe we got through it even though it was tough is important to celebrate.)

 

I created a fun way to create positive self talk and I’d love to share it with you!

It’s the Soul Adventure Game where you use your energy, intuition and inspired action for creating clarity, transformation and magic in your life.

My clients and pilot group are loving it and having profound results in only a couple months!

You can find out more about this unique way to make personal development a positive habit here and kick your inner critic to the curb …. with love of course!

Lorree Appleby