You know what I’m talking about when I say that there are moments that I am SO grateful that my thoughts are my own. Thoughts that can land me in a psych hospital.
“If that woman sends me one more email!”
“If that kid screams one more time!”
“I am in a rush! Let’s move this line along before I…”
Yes, indeed, there are moments that we believe we are living in absolute chaos. Moments that make us wonder how we manage at all.
First realistic response? “OK, because I have to be “Super Woman” and want to accomplish everything I set out, it’s obvious that I will have to exercise more flexibility in my expectations and efforts.” Totally realistic, right?
Statistics show that women who have flexible hours in 1989 were 1 in 10. In 2014, a huge increase to 1 in 4.
Having a flexible schedule is much more common today, but a lack of that flexibility are not the demons that drag you to the gates of HELL! These demons are “BOUNDARIES and ACCOUNTABILITY”. Or lack thereof…
You can see that other women are able to do it all. That other women understand some secret ingredient to the potion that will give you a blissful life. So, why not you?
I will let you in on a secret…There is no potion, and there certainly isn’t another woman out there that can do it ALL! No, she just appears that way because you caught a glimpse of her when she wasn’t having one her own moments.
The truth is that you only feel like everything might come undone because you lose yourself in the vat of chaos, and as the vortex continues to spin, you feel further and further away from climbing out. Just as you reach the top and are about to get to peace and quiet, you see another holiday, another project, another school exercise, or another anything that is a seasonal something to get in the way of getting to catch your breath. There is always something down the line or around the corner, right?
Telling you that you need to delegate more, or make more “YOU TIME” is SO overdone. If it was that easy, you would already be doing it. I get that. So, it would only make sense to come to one simple realization. “It’s NOT easy!” However, that doesn’t mean “IMPOSSIBLE”.
Two words that will provide an answer to the dilemma? BOUNDARIES and ACCOUNTABILITY!
Yes, you have likely heard that before too. But, it’s the truth, and the fires of chaos will not go out until you create boundaries and take accountability.
Whether you have colleagues, friends, or family that boundaries need to be set, you MUST do so to get a break. Period. If you are in need of a mental vacation, then you need boundaries. Do you need to delegate? Do you need to teach your family shared responsibility, emotional or physical? It is going to be tough to start, agreed. You will likely suffer what feels like a setback, a feeling of losing your footing. But remember that you are the only one that can make changes to YOUR life. If the changes that you desire are in your best interest, than they likely are for everyone involved. You are already taking on the responsibility of the well-being of yourself and others, so you might as well do at least this much for all concerned. Besides, what story are you otherwise telling those around you? Own your life, and you will find that everything around you will begin to fall into a better place.